Title: Saying Yes
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Remus/Tonks
Summary: Remus and Tonks get into a fight during DH. Here it is. Missing moment
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. They are JK Rowlings.
Remus has never been so cold.
Okay, that was a slight exaggeration. He’d been cold like this after transformations, lying naked in the dead of winter but honestly it didn’t count because this was different, this was something he could change but just…
He can practically hear her throw her arms up at his lack of explanation in his head and he tightens his crossed arms, rolling his eyes behind his lids. He must be going insane because as of right now, Tonks wouldn’t even pretend to listen to him. Mostly because she was at the farthest side of the bed, sleeping fitfully and successfully hogging all the covers. A glance over his quaking shoulder confirms the vision in his mind, the comforter is pooled around her legs and Tonks is fighting with the sheets as if they were trying to suck out her soul.
He really was abnormally cold, his toes felt like sausages of ice.
Part of him wants to close the gap that has been wedged between them, represented by the space between them. The foot of space, the green sheet glaring at him in the shadows of the moon, seems to get wider by the minute even though he is pretty sure that neither one of them could get closer to the edge of the bed without plunging onto the wooden floor. But he knows that even if he does, he would have to explain what was wrong (if she would even listen) which would require waking her up (which only completely insane people even contemplate doing).
He shifted, legs squirming, to his back but the position was even more uncomfortable because he was now half hanging off the bed. This is ridiculous. The ceiling reveals no sudden epiphanies or small comforts, just white nothingness. His heart gives a sickening lurch but he pays it no mind. It’s been doing it periodically since Tonks had confronted him in the library and told him, in a bit of a yell, that he shouldn’t have even bothered to get back together with her if he was just going to be an insufferable prat because now her hair wanted to stay pink but he was just mucking it all up again.
Remus had fled. Out for a walk and had returned shortly before midnight to find she hadn’t left any lights on but hadn’t left a pile of blankets on the couch. He wondered if this was any better.
He didn’t know what was going on with him. It wasn’t as if he was doubting his decision to be with her, that thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. He didn’t really know what he was doing, but he thought it felt like mourning with a nice healthy helping of worry. Remus couldn’t see the path in front of him for the first time in months, Dumbledore’s wit and wisdom was gone and had left the path dark. It was almost easier when he was with the ferals, at least he didn’t expect to wake up the next day. But now there was hope lingering everywhere Remus looked.
How am I supposed to feel about that?
His head tilted to look at the back of Tonks’ head, her hair was morphing rapidly from pink to brown in her sleep. Remus idly wondered what that meant for them. He could faintly hear her murmuring in her sleep and wished, painfully, that he could be hearing her voice from the vicinity of his chest; not a body length away. The sigh leaves him before he can stop his lungs; it feels tight and completely unsatisfying.
This is the first time we’ve fought.
It’s insane to think but it’s true. The past times, all of his protests had fallen on almost deaf ears. There were never raised voices or awkward moments crawling into bed. The times they had argued before he would speak calmly and Tonks would just respond with the same forced calm then he would flee as the hurt crept into her face and love flooded her eyes. He had thought he was doing the right thing; he had to leave her for her safety.
This time he had hurt her for no reason. And it burned differently in his chest.
His mind was so disconnected and yet his heart remained wired, refusing to let him fall into a similar fitful sleep.
Maybe you should get your act together. He visibly frowns at his thoughts, tugging fitfully at his pants. Remus chances a glace across the pillow; Tonks had rolled onto her back, her arms flailing above her head before shifting to her side again with her back facing Remus.
He’d been thinking about asking her for so long. Even under ground with the ferals the thought would cross his mind and he would roll the question around on his tongue, see how it would feel before tucking it away in a very self degrading tone. It was a comfort then… but what was it now?
Could they make forever? Could she trust him again and could Remus forgive himself for all his short comings? Was he in a fit because now that there were no obstacles in his way, yet he was still hesitating?
The Dumbledore in his mind’s eye arched an eyebrow and his eyes twinkled knowingly.
Remus just groaned into his pillow, rolling to his side to watch the rise and fall of Tonks’ side. He’d been acting like a teenager all week, not being able to pinpoint why he was feeling the way he was, all because his heart was ready for his mind to shut up so it could do some talking. The knot in his chest had loosened but only to move to his throat.
A silly smile rolled onto his face because this was something he wouldn’t mind waking her up for. He inched closer to her, letting his body scoot across the bed. Remus could hear the roaring of blood in his ears and this twinkle of very unmanly butterflies in the area of his stomach….
Because I’m really doing this.
He had reached her before he could think twice, wrapping a hand around her waist and pressing lips behind her ear.
“Dora, wake up… wake up.” Remus could feel her stirring and twisting slightly in his arms. “Marry me.”
He wasn’t even sure she was awake, but it didn’t matter because he had actually said it out loud. Never mind that it was barely a whisper and more of a statement than a questions but it was still there and she was still waking.
“Marry me. Marry me.” He pressed his lips against her neck and check before rolling her over and underneath him. He was kissing across her face when he met bright pink eyes and it stopped him in his tracks, lips pressed onto the tip of her nose.
I love her.
“If that was supposed to be an apology, it sucked.” But her words were laced with barely hidden excitement and he pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling back and fumbling for her hand.
“Marry me?”
A smile broke across her face and Remus felt like he had tumbled back into the sun.
